Each year at the end of Christmas, we blast this song in honor of my Aunt Rene. Its our official goodbye song for the Holiday Season and gives us a reminder of how blessed we are.
Every year as I sit in the glitter of lights from the tree I can't help but think about the past year. I always wonder what things would be like if my aunt was still here. What would she be like? I did meet her, but I was not old enough to remember her. It always makes me sad that she missed out on seeing her family grow up. She missed out seeing what great people me and my brother have become. My brother is looking into becoming a police officer--I wonder what she would have thought about that!? From what my mom has told me about her--we would have loved her a lot. Just as she loved us.
All I can do now is ask myself if she would be proud of where I am? Married and in Virginia? I am not sure about the first two--but I am sure she would be more than excited that I have finally got into Nursing School! She has given me and my family many opportunities from her death. I cant imagine the kind of decisions that she made before she passed--I can only see that she truly loved us and wanted to make sure her family was taken care of--even those who weren't born yet. I can't help but feel grateful for how much she loved me and take advantage of what she did give me. I full scholarship to college.
This year as I listened to this song, I felt both motivation and sadness. I felt motivation to push my way through the next few years and graduate. I want to excel these next few years. Although it makes me sad that I never got the chance to get to know her--I have a loving aunt who left money for me to accomplish my goals. Along with her gift, I am lucky enough to have amazing husband here to support me through school. I truly feel blessed this holiday season.
I know that is what she wanted for me--and that is what I want for myself. I know that she continues to watch over me and keep me safe.
Rest in Peace, Rene. We all miss you.
Rene' would have been as proud of you as I am. You and she shared that "I know exactly what I want to be when I grow up" gene. I am glad that Silent Night is part of your tradition now too. It fills my heart with love and memories from Christmases past. A perfect way to reflect on what is important.
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